The Ankh of Becoming: A Trans Woman’s Reflection on 'Jessica 6'

The Hidden Depth of Logan’s Run: Jessica 6 and the Path to Being

The other day, whilst scrolling through YouTube, I stumbled upon a video about Sci-Fi movies of the 70s that shouldn’t work in 2024, but somehow they do. Nostalgia pulled me in immediately, and as the list unfolded, my attention sharpened. When Logan’s Run appeared, I felt a pang of excitement and curiosity. This was a film that had captivated me as a youngling, one that I’d revisited many times over the years. Seeing it celebrated again after so long triggered a cascade of memories, prompting me to take a trip down memory lane.

I remember the first time I saw Logan’s Run. I must have been around ten years old, watching it on a fuzzy television screen. The vibrant colours, the futuristic domed city, and the life clock embedded in each citizen’s palm all felt like a magical, dystopian puzzle. But what held my fascination most was Jessica 6. She was unlike any female character I’d encountered in the media at the time. Strong, wise, and fiercely principled, Jessica was the heart of the story (in my view), challenging Logan’s beliefs and leading him toward a deeper understanding of the world and himself. Whilst my friends were drawn to her beauty, openly expressing their desire to be with her, I felt something different—a longing to be her. I didn’t have the words or the self-awareness at the time to articulate why, but Jessica’s character planted a seed that would take decades to grow and bloom.

Looking back now, with the clarity of hindsight, I see how this early connection to Jessica 6 was a proto-trans seed, quietly taking root within me. She represented qualities I aspired to embody—strength, wisdom, and a determination to seek truth, no matter the cost. Whilst others saw her as an object of desire, I saw her as a beacon of possibility, someone who existed outside the narrow confines of societal expectations. It’s only now, as an openly trans woman, that I can fully appreciate the significance of this early fascination. Jessica wasn’t just a character I admired; she was a reflection of something deeply buried within me, a part of my identity waiting to be realised.

This reflection has grown deeper with time, especially in light of my recent rediscovery of the film through this YouTube video. It feels fitting to explore Jessica 6 through two lenses that now resonate so profoundly with me: as a feminist-coded figure challenging the fabric of her society and as an autistic-coded character who rejects superficiality in favour of authenticity and truth. Most of all, she stands as a retrocausal figure in my journey of self-discovery, a silent thread connecting my childhood self to the woman I am today.

Jessica 6: A Timeless Hero

In Logan’s Run, Jessica 6 begins as an apparent secondary character, someone Logan selects for pleasure through an on-demand system. Yet from the moment she appears, it’s clear that she is far more than what the dystopian society designed her to be. Instead of passively fulfilling her assigned role, Jessica challenges Logan with questions that unsettle his worldview. As the film progresses, it becomes evident that she is not merely a companion on his journey; she is its driving force, the moral and intellectual leader who compels him to see beyond the lies of the domed city. Jessica’s strength and wisdom transform her from a superficial accessory into the true protagonist, subverting the audience’s expectations in ways that were groundbreaking for the time.

What makes Jessica truly remarkable is her command of the symbols embedded within the plot. The Ankh, a key motif throughout the film, serves as a symbol of life and hope for those seeking Sanctuary, and Jessica wields it with purpose and knowledge. Unlike Logan, who begins as a loyal enforcer of the system, Jessica possesses an intuitive understanding of these symbols and their deeper meaning. Her belief in Sanctuary is unwavering, and it is through her influence that Logan begins to question the foundations of their world. Far from being a mere muse or love interest, she is the film’s true lead character, the one who drives its moral and philosophical underpinnings. Without Jessica, there is no story—only the perpetuation of the oppressive status quo.

Jessica 6 also resonates on another level, particularly when viewed through an autistic lens. Her character embodies many traits associated with strong autistic women. She rejects the superficiality of the domed city, refusing to accept the societal myths of renewal and Carousel at face value. Instead, she seeks out deeper truths, displaying a level of intellectual depth and emotional resilience that sets her apart. Jessica’s ability to question and challenge societal norms is a hallmark of her character, and her journey with Logan is one of peeling back layers of illusion to reveal a more authentic reality. These traits, though subtle, make her an inspiring and relatable figure for those who navigate the world with a similar mindset.

Jenny Agutter, OBE, was the perfect actress for the role of Jessica 6. Her portrayal captures both the quiet strength and the fierce determination of the character, bringing depth and nuance to what could have been a one-dimensional role in less capable hands. Agutter’s performance radiates a blend of intelligence, vulnerability, and resolve that grounds Jessica’s ideals in humanity. She embodies a character who is as empathetic as she is unyielding, guiding Logan—and the audience—toward a greater understanding of what it means to truly live.

Jessica 6 is more than a timeless hero; she is a symbol of resistance and authenticity, one whose impact reverberates beyond the boundaries of the film. Her subtle autistic coding makes her especially compelling, offering a representation of strength and depth that remains resonant to this day. As both a feminist figure and a quietly coded neurodivergent one, Jessica 6 transcends the confines of her era, standing as a beacon for those who challenge societal norms and seek a deeper truth.

Retrocausality and the Rewriting of Gestalts

Coming out as a trans woman has been nothing short of transformative, not only in terms of how I see myself now but in how I understand my entire past. It’s as though this revelation has handed me a new lens through which to view my life, one that sharpens and reframes memories I once struggled to make sense of. My lifelong fascination with Logan’s Run and Jessica 6 is one such memory, now illuminated in ways that feel both revelatory and affirming. What I once experienced as a vague yearning to be like her—a mix of admiration and longing that defied easy explanation—has crystallised into something deeply personal and profound. Jessica 6 wasn’t just a character I admired; she was a reflection of something hidden within me, an early glimpse of my authentic self waiting to emerge.

As an autistic gestalt processor, this kind of reinterpretation doesn’t happen in neat, linear steps. It’s more like a flood—an overwhelming cascade of interconnected insights that rushes in all at once, reshaping my understanding of who I’ve been and who I am now. The trigger can be as unassuming as a YouTube video, like the one I recently watched listing Logan’s Run among sci-fi films of the 1970s. That small moment set off a chain reaction in my mind, unearthing layers of meaning I hadn’t fully processed before. Suddenly, Jessica 6 wasn’t just a character from my childhood or a symbol of strength and wisdom; she was part of my story, a thread woven into the fabric of my identity that I hadn’t yet recognised.

This process of reinterpretation feels a lot like retrocausality—a concept that suggests the future can influence the past. In this case, my current understanding of myself as a trans woman reaches back across time, reshaping how I perceive and make sense of my earlier experiences. It’s as though the knowledge I’ve gained now is rewriting the script of my past, helping me to see patterns and connections that were invisible before. Those moments of feeling different, of being drawn to certain characters or stories without fully understanding why—they all make sense now. Jessica 6 wasn’t just an aspirational figure; she was a proto-trans seed planted in my consciousness, waiting for the right conditions to grow.

This kind of retroactive insight brings with it a sense of reconciliation with my past self. It allows me to understand choices I made—or didn’t make—with greater compassion and clarity. For so many years, I felt like I was moving through life with a blindfold on, stumbling toward something I couldn’t quite name. Now, I can see that even in those moments of confusion, my instincts were guiding me toward my truth. Jessica 6 was a part of that guidance, a symbol of authenticity and courage that resonated with me long before I understood why.

Jessica 6’s role in my story is more than just a point of connection; she represents a kind of retrocausal figure, embodying qualities that I’ve since come to recognise in myself. Her strength, her refusal to accept superficiality, and her relentless pursuit of truth all mirror the journey I’ve taken to embrace my own identity. She stands as a reminder that even in moments when we feel lost, there are glimpses of who we truly are, waiting to be understood. For me, Jessica 6 isn’t just a character from a beloved film—she’s a symbol of the self I’ve always been, even when I didn’t have the words to say it.

Jessica 6, The Proto-Trans Seed

Poetry is a new and joyous part of my life, a gift that blossomed alongside the changes I’ve experienced since beginning HRT. For so long, I felt disconnected from the creative flow of language, as though the words I needed were always just out of reach. But now, something has shifted—my thoughts and emotions seem to align more clearly, and poetry has become a way to capture them, to shape them into something meaningful and beautiful. It feels like discovering a hidden door within myself, one that opens into a vast and vibrant world of expression.

This newfound ability to create in this way fills me with an incredible sense of joy and fulfilment. Poetry allows me to give form to the complex, interconnected emotions and insights that have always been part of my autistic gestalt mind. It’s not just a way to process my experiences; it’s a celebration of them, a way to weave the threads of my past and present into something whole and resonant.

In reflecting on Jessica 6, I feel compelled to honour her influence on my journey with this newfound voice. She has been a guiding presence in my life, a symbol of authenticity and courage whose meaning has deepened as I’ve grown. Writing this poem is not only a tribute to her but also a celebration of how far I’ve come—a joyful declaration of what it means to finally feel aligned with my true self and to express that through the gift of poetry.

Catalyst of Becoming

You stepped from the machine,
wrapped in the shimmer of unspoken truths,
an ankh swinging from your neck
like a key to a door
I had not yet learned to name.
The air trembled with you,
a ripple through the fabricated stillness
of a world too afraid to feel.

They lusted for your surface—
a fleeting shadow of what they saw.
But I felt your gravity,
a pull toward the centre of something ancient,
unshaken,
unfolding in layers I longed to wear.
I did not want to hold you.
I wanted to become
the fire you carried in your eyes,
the quiet rebellion in your step.

Your voice was a thread of starlight,
weaving through the dome’s sterile hum,
each word a fracture in their gilded myth.
You carried the ankh not as a talisman,
but as a question,
etched into the fabric of being—
What if there is more?

And when you walked,
you shattered the brittle lies of Carousel,
each step a refusal to vanish.
Renewal, they called it,
but you knew—
you knew renewal is a theft,
a silencing of voices too wild to fit the mould.
And in your defiance,
I recognised the seed of my own.

Years stretch between us,
but the resonance of your rebellion
still hums in the quiet corners of my mind.
You planted something in me,
a geometry of truths
waiting to be drawn.
Each unfolding of my self
is a reverberation of your step,
each choice a constellation lit by your fire.

I see you now,
a mirror more ancient than stars,
a beacon for all who wander
through the labyrinth of becoming.
Jessica, you are the curve of my orbit,
the proto-seed of my knowing.
You are the story I tell in the quiet,
the shadow and light
of who I always was.

Final thoughts …

Jessica 6’s legacy is one of quiet revolution. Her journey in Logan’s Run—from the object of Logan’s superficial desires to the moral compass of the narrative—mirrors my own path of navigating societal expectations, embracing authenticity, and challenging the constructs that sought to define me. Like her, I’ve had to peel back the layers of imposed myths and illusions to uncover the deeper truths about who I am. Jessica’s courage, her refusal to accept the world at face value, and her insistence on carving out a space for genuine being resonate deeply with the challenges and triumphs of my own journey as an autistic trans woman.

Her character stands as a remarkable intersection of feminist and autistic-coded traits, embodying a strength that goes beyond rebellion and into the realm of transformation. Jessica’s intellectual depth, her emotional resilience, and her unflinching resolve to question and redefine the status quo make her more than a hero of her time; they make her a timeless figure in the ongoing conversation about representation and identity. In an era when many female characters were reduced to decoration or sidekicks, Jessica 6 broke ground, standing not only as Logan’s equal but as the true heart of the story. Her subtle portrayal as someone who operates outside the constraints of neurotypical and patriarchal norms speaks volumes about her relevance to contemporary discussions around inclusion and authenticity.

Logan’s Run, despite being a product of its time, holds enduring lessons for us today (and should be given a reboot). Its critique of societal control systems and its exploration of individual liberation remain profoundly relevant. The life clock may be a fictional device, but its real-world counterparts—the relentless pressures of achievement culture, conformity, and rigid identity norms—are just as pervasive. Jessica’s journey reminds us that breaking free from these systems requires not only courage but also a deep commitment to seeking truth, even when it is inconvenient or uncomfortable.

For those navigating their own paths of self-discovery, Jessica 6 offers a beacon of hope. Her story is a reminder that transformation is possible, even in the face of overwhelming odds. To anyone feeling trapped by societal expectations or struggling to embrace their authentic self, know this: your journey matters. The path may be difficult, but as Jessica teaches us, the act of seeking truth and reclaiming your identity is itself an act of liberation. You, too, can be the quiet revolution that changes your world.