Well, folks, last week was an absolute slog, wasn't it? A veritable Ben Nevis of tedium to scale. Frankly, I'm utterly knackered. So, in a stunning display of what the wellness gurus might call 'self-care' (and what I call 'preserving my last shred of sanity'), I've decided to treat you to a smorgasbord of the most preposterous studies and papers I've had the misfortune to encounter during my research.

Now, let me be clear: these papers are as real as the Stone of Destiny, and my snark is as authentic as a fine Scotch whisky. However, I strongly advise you to view these academic masterpieces with the same level of disdain you'd reserve for a warm Irn-Bru or a tourist trying to deep-fry a pizza.

As I sifted through this trove of taxpayer-funded twaddle, I couldn't help but marvel at the sheer volume of money being flushed down the academic bog. All this whilst actual neurodivergent folks are out there, struggling to get by without so much as a 'how's it going?' from these ivory tower inhabitants. So, buckle up, my dears. We're about to embark on a journey through the land of the bleeding obvious, where common sense goes to die and grant money flows like whisky at a Glasgow wedding.