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I’m hearing that many adults discover they are autistic when they have a child who is diagnosed and they are learning how to accommodate the child’s needs and take a self-assessment. Many adults don’t go to a health care provider to get an “official” diagnosis. What are your thoughts about that?

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This is quite common. Given the time and effort and stress necessary to get a diagnosis, and depending on where one is in the world, it may not be worth it to get the diagnosis if one is already established. Cost vs benefit doesn't often make sense.

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