From Gaslighting to Empowerment: Reimagining Our Response to School Avoidance
A recent article, published on Edutopia and shared with my by an admin at my school, offers “strategies” for educators and parents to help students manage the uncomfortable emotions that often lead to school avoidance. The main points of the article include acknowledging and validating students’ feelings, teaching them to “practice the and” by accepting their emotions while still moving forward with their goals, and supporting a “growth mindset.” The author argues that by helping students develop self-awareness and coping strategies, we can reduce chronic absenteeism and improve academic outcomes. My school has an absenteeism problem, so it makes sense that admin would be on the lookout for such articles.
As an autistic trans woman (it still feels so wonderful to say that) and special education teacher, I can bring a unique perspective to this discussion. I remember all too well the challenges I faced in school and well before my eventual diagnoses, from sensory overload and social anxiety to bullying and discrimination. For many neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ students, school can be a minefield of stressors and barriers to learning. The constant pressure to conform to neurotypical and cisgender norms, coupled with a lack of understanding and support from educators and peers, can make simply showing up to class a daily battle.
Whilst I appreciate the article’s emphasis on emotional regulation skills, I believe it fails to adequately address the systemic issues that contribute to school avoidance among marginalised students. Teaching individual coping strategies is important, but it’s not enough if we don’t also tackle the root causes of why students feel unsafe, unwelcome, or unable to learn in the first place. As a society, we need to take a hard look at how our education system perpetuates inequity and marginalisation, and work to create more inclusive, affirming, and accessible learning environments for all students.
In today’s article, I will explore the shortcomings of the article’s approach and argue for a more comprehensive, systemic view of school avoidance. I will draw on my own experiences as an educator and a neurodivergent, transgender person to highlight the need for intersectional perspectives in this conversation. Ultimately, I hope to shift the narrative away from blaming and pathologising struggling students, and towards a vision of education that truly meets the needs of all learners, especially those on the margins.
The Article's Shortcomings
The article has several shortcomings that limit its effectiveness in addressing the complex issue of school refusal. First and foremost, it places an undue burden on students to regulate their own emotions and behaviours, without fully acknowledging the valid reasons why they may be avoiding school in the first place. The article states that “Managing uncomfortable emotions begins with self-awareness” and suggests that “we must acknowledge and become aware of emotions before we can manage them effectively” (say that to an alexithymic person). Whilst emotional regulation skills are certainly valuable, this focus on individual coping puts the onus squarely on the shoulders of struggling students, rather than examining the broader contexts that contribute to their distress.
Moreover, the article pays insufficient attention to the root causes of school avoidance, particularly for marginalised students. Bullying, discrimination, and a lack of inclusion are all too common experiences for neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ youth in schools, yet these issues are barely mentioned in the piece. When the article does acknowledge these challenges, it does so in a cursory manner, such as briefly noting “rising anxiety and mental health concerns” without delving into the disproportionate impact on certain student populations. For autistic students, the sensory and social demands of the school environment can be overwhelming, leading to shutdowns, meltdowns, and avoidance behaviours. Similarly, LGBTQ+ students face higher rates of harassment, victimisation, and mental health issues compared to their cisgender and heterosexual peers. By failing to adequately address these root causes, the article presents an incomplete picture of why students may be disengaging from school.
The article’s overemphasis on individual coping strategies also minimises the urgent need for systemic changes in our education system. Whilst teaching students to “practice the and” by acknowledging their discomfort while still pursuing their goals may be a useful tool, it does not address the fundamental inequities and barriers that many students face. Asking marginalised students to simply adapt to hostile or unsupportive environments places an unfair burden on them to overcome systemic oppression through sheer force of will. The article’s suggestion that “When we model that it is OK to feel uncomfortable and move forward, we support resiliency skills that can help students manage these feelings in the future” rings hollow when we consider the daily toll that navigating unjust systems takes on marginalised students’ mental health and academic success.
It is important to recognise here that Edutopia, the publication behind this article, is ultimately an outlet for neoliberal and neocolonial views on education, despite its veneer of neutrality and objectivity. The site’s emphasis on “innovation,” “grit,” and “growth mindset” aligns with a broader capitalist ideology that prioritises individual achievement over collective well-being. This ideological framework often leads to a blame-the-victim mentality, where students who struggle are seen as lacking in resilience or effort, rather than as the product of a system that is failing to meet their needs. By presenting this article as an authoritative guide on addressing school avoidance, Edutopia reinforces the notion that students are primarily responsible for their own success or failure, obscuring the role of structural inequities and systemic failures in shaping educational outcomes.
The Need for Systemic Change
To truly address the issue of school avoidance, we must focus on creating systemic change that fosters inclusive and affirming school climates for all students. This requires a multi-faceted approach that addresses the root causes of marginalisation and disengagement, rather than simply putting the burden on individual students to cope with hostile environments.
First and foremost, schools must take proactive steps to address bullying and discrimination in all its forms. This includes developing and enforcing clear anti-harassment policies, providing training for staff and students on identifying and intervening in bullying situations, and creating a culture of respect and empathy. For neurodivergent students, this also means ensuring that they receive appropriate accommodations and support to thrive academically and socially. This may include sensory-friendly classrooms, alternative testing arrangements, social skills groups, and other targeted interventions based on individual needs. Similarly, schools must work to create safe and welcoming environments for LGBTQ+ youth (and staff), with explicit protections against discrimination, gender-neutral facilities, and curricula that represent diverse identities and experiences.
However, creating truly inclusive schools requires more than just policies and accommodations. It requires a fundamental shift in how we listen to and center the voices and experiences of marginalised students themselves. Too often, decisions about education are made by those in positions of power and privilege who stand to profit from their choices, without meaningful input from the students and communities most impacted by those decisions. To enact meaningful change, we must create structures and processes for students, families, and community members to share their stories, perspectives, and ideas for improving school climate and outcomes. This could take the form of student-led equity committees, community forums, or participatory action research projects that empower stakeholders to identify problems and develop solutions collaboratively.
Ultimately, the responsibility for creating inclusive and equitable schools lies not with individual students, but with the institutions and systems that shape their educational experiences. We must recognise that school avoidance is often a symptom of deeper systemic failures, rather than a personal failing of the student. This means investing in staff training and professional development around culturally responsive teaching, trauma-informed practices, and anti-bias education. It means allocating resources to support the mental health and well-being of marginalised students, such as hiring diverse counselors and social workers, providing accessible therapy and support groups, and partnering with community-based organizations. And it means developing policies and practices that actively promote equity and inclusion, such as restorative justice approaches to discipline, culturally relevant curriculum, and hiring and retention initiatives for diverse educators.
Transforming our schools into truly inclusive and affirming spaces will require a sustained commitment from all stakeholders, from policymakers and administrators to teachers and support staff to students and families. It will require us to confront and dismantle the deep-seated biases and inequities that have long pervaded our education system, and to imagine new possibilities for what schools can and should be. But if we are serious about addressing the crisis of school avoidance and ensuring that all students have the opportunity to thrive, we must be willing to do the hard work of systemic change. Only then can we create schools that truly serve the needs and potential of all learners, especially those who have been historically marginalised and left behind.
The Value of Intersectional Perspectives
The value of intersectional perspectives in understanding and addressing complex educational issues cannot be overstated. As someone who embodies multiple marginalised identities - being autistic, transgender, and disabled - I bring a unique lens to the conversation about school avoidance and inclusion. My lived experiences navigating a system that was not designed with people like me in mind have given me firsthand insight into the challenges and barriers that many students face on a daily basis. When we approach these issues solely through a dominant, neurotypical, cisgender, and ableist frame of reference, we risk overlooking the nuances and complexities that shape the realities of diverse learners.
My identity as an autistic trans woman has profoundly shaped my perspective as an educator. I intimately understand the sensory, social, and executive functioning challenges that can make the school environment overwhelming and inaccessible for autistic students and staff. I know the pain of being misgendered, harassed, bullied, and discriminated against for not conforming to societal expectations. And I have witnessed how these intersecting forms of marginalisation can compound and exacerbate one another, leading to poorer mental health outcomes, academic struggles, and a sense of alienation from the school community. These experiences have made me a fierce advocate for creating more inclusive, affirming, and equitable learning spaces that honor the diversity of all students.
However, the unfortunate reality is that the voices and perspectives of marginalised educators like myself are often silenced or pushed to the margins, particularly in a capitalist education system that prioritises profit and conformity over genuine inclusion and equity. The increasing privatisation and corporatisation of education has led to a narrowing of curriculum, a focus on high-stakes testing, and a devaluing of diverse perspectives and experiences. Big educational corporations, driven by their bottom lines and market interests, ultimately dictate what happens in classrooms, what materials are included, and what values and norms are reinforced. This leaves little room for the kind of critical, intersectional approaches that are necessary to truly transform our schools into inclusive spaces.
Moreover, when educators like myself do try to push back against these dominant narratives and advocate for more diverse and equitable practices, we are often met with fierce resistance and backlash. In many places around the US, conservative elected officials, beholden to their corporate donors and special interests, are actively working to silence and marginalise voices like mine. They pass laws banning the teaching of “divisive concepts” like systemic racism and gender identity, they censor books and materials that represent diverse perspectives, and they enact policies that further exclude and stigmatise marginalized students and educators. This hostile political climate makes it even more difficult for those of us with lived experience of oppression to speak out and effect change within the system.
Despite these challenges, I remain committed to using my positionality and insights to push for a more intersectional, justice-oriented approach to education. I believe that we desperately need more diverse voices and perspectives shaping our educational practices and policies, especially from those who have been historically marginalized and excluded. This means not only recruiting and retaining more diverse educators, but also creating leadership pathways and decision-making roles for those with lived experience of navigating multiple systems of oppression. It means centering the voices and experiences of students and families who are most impacted by educational inequities, and collaborating with them to co-create solutions and interventions. And it means building coalitions and movements that can challenge the corporate interests and political agendas that seek to maintain the status quo of exclusion and marginalization.
Ultimately, the path to creating truly inclusive and equitable schools is long and arduous, but it is a path we must walk if we are serious about ensuring that all students have the opportunity to thrive. By valuing intersectional perspectives, listening to the voices of the marginalized, and working collectively to dismantle oppressive systems and structures, we can begin to create educational spaces that affirm the inherent worth and potential of every learner. As an autistic trans woman and educator, I am committed to being part of that transformative work, and to using my lived experience to light the way forward.
Final thoughts …
In wrapping up, the Edutopia article, whilst offering some common strategies for emotional regulation, ultimately fails to adequately address the systemic issues that contribute to school avoidance among students. By placing the burden of change on individual students to manage their discomfort and adapt to hostile environments, the article perpetuates a harmful narrative that blames the victims of oppression for their own struggles. This is a classic tactic of gaslighting, where the abuser seeks to minimise and invalidate the experiences of the abused, making them question their own perceptions and reactions to mistreatment.
Edutopia, as a mouthpiece for neoliberal and neocolonial views on education, is complicit in this gaslighting by presenting such articles as neutral and authoritative guides for educators. By centering individual coping strategies over systemic change, the publication reinforces the notion that students are responsible for overcoming the barriers and inequities they face, rather than holding the system accountable for creating and perpetuating those inequities in the first place. This is a dangerous and insidious form of victim-blaming that serves to maintain the status quo of exclusion and marginalisation.
Instead, we need a radical shift in perspective that centres the voices, experiences, and needs of students and communities. We must recognise that school avoidance is not an individual failing, but a symptom of deeper systemic failures that push students to the margins and deny them the support and resources they need to thrive. This means investing in creating inclusive and affirming school climates, providing accommodations and support for neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ students, and addressing the root causes of bullying, discrimination, and inequity.
Whilst teaching students strategies for managing difficult emotions is certainly valuable, it must be done in the context of broader efforts to transform our education system into one that truly serves all students, especially those who have been historically marginalised. This requires a collective commitment from all stakeholders to challenge the power structures and ideologies that perpetuate oppression, and to work collaboratively towards a vision of education that affirms the inherent worth and potential of every learner.
Me being me, I know firsthand the toll that navigating hostile and exclusionary environments can take on one’s mental health and sense of belonging. I also know the transformative power of being seen, heard, and valued for who I am, in all my complexity and intersectionality. It is this power that we must harness if we are to create schools that truly nurture and empower all students to thrive. By centering intersectional perspectives, listening to the voices of the marginalised, and working collectively to dismantle oppressive systems and structures, we can begin to create educational spaces that are truly inclusive, affirming, and liberatory for all.