The Well at the End of My World: A Trans Journey Through Folklore
Recently, I received an early birthday gift—Scottish Folk & Fairy Tales, a Flame Tree Collector’s Edition. This beautifully bound collection features fables, folklore, and ancient stories that delve into the rich history of Scotland’s mythic past. As I browsed through the tales, I came across The Well at the End of the World, a story I hadn’t thought about in years, yet one that immediately triggered a vivid, happy memory from my childhood (a rarity). I remembered listening to a version of this tale on a phonograph as a child, before I could even read, and it became one of the few cherished memories from those pre-literate days. Revisiting the story now, I couldn’t help but feel that the seeds of my eventual transition were planted all the way back then, through this amazing female character and her journey. The tale of a girl who sets out on an arduous quest to the well at the end of the world, facing trials and receiving kindness along the way, only to be transformed in the end, resonates deeply with my own life’s trajectory. For me, the well represents my decision to pursue HRT and the profound transformation it brought. In many ways, my experience mirrors that of the protagonist, and this tale, once a nostalgic childhood memory, has become a reflection of my path to becoming my true self.
The Protagonist’s Call to Action
The story begins with a young girl, mistreated and misunderstood, who is sent on an impossible quest by her stepmother to fetch water from the well at the end of the world. Armed with only a sieve, a tool that seems utterly inadequate for the task, she sets out on a journey filled with challenges. This opening, with its sense of isolation and being handed an impossible mission, mirrors much of my early life. I didn’t grow up knowing I was queer or trans, but looking back, I see that the seeds were planted long ago. Like the girl in the story, I was tasked with understanding myself in a world that didn’t provide the language or tools I needed to make sense of who I was.
The sieve represents so much of what was missing—societal understanding, language, and support, not just for being trans but for being an autistic Gestalt Language Processor (GLP). As a GLP, I lacked the scripts others seemed to have, the conventional models of self-understanding that could have helped me navigate my identity. I didn’t have words for what I was feeling, but I knew I was different. From an early age, I sensed that I didn’t fit in, not just in terms of gender but also in how I processed the world around me. Everything felt slightly off, like I was constantly missing something. This feeling of discomfort in my own skin and awkwardness in social situations wasn’t just about gender—it was a fundamental sense of being foreign in a world where everyone else seemed to have the right instructions.
In the same way that the protagonist in the story is ill-equipped for her journey with only a sieve, I, too, felt unprepared for the task of understanding myself. I was trying to carry water in a sieve, trying to make sense of my identity without the tools or understanding necessary to grasp it. The world I grew up in didn’t offer me the scripts I needed to undertake such an epic quest, leaving me to piece together fragments of who I might be. There were early moments where the truth of who I was began to emerge—moments where I felt that deep sense of otherness, but I couldn’t yet understand what it meant. The seeds were there, planted long before I had the words or the understanding to recognise them. Just as the girl in the story presses on despite her inadequate tools, I moved forward, even if I didn’t fully know where my journey would lead.
The Journey and Acts of Kindness
As the young girl in the story travels toward the well, she encounters various characters in need of help—animals or strangers who are struggling in their own way. Despite her own daunting task and the seemingly impossible odds stacked against her, she chooses to show kindness to those she meets along the way. In return, these acts of compassion eventually come back to help her, making her journey possible. This aspect of the story feels familiar to me, as I reflect on the role that kindness—both given and received—has played in my own journey toward understanding my identity.
Throughout my life, helping others was often a way for me to navigate the confusion of not fitting in. In many ways, it was easier to focus on the needs of others than to confront the growing dissonance within myself. I may not have had the language or the tools to make sense of my identity, but I found purpose in supporting / protecting those around me. Whether it was through small acts of kindness or offering support to friends, these moments of outward compassion provided a way to sidestep my own internal struggles, allowing me to exist in a world that felt off-kilter.
At the same time, like the protagonist in the tale, I received kindness and support from unexpected places. Throughout my journey, there were people who saw me for who I was, even when I couldn’t yet see it myself. These moments mirrored the acts of kindness the protagonist encounters on her way to the well. They came as small affirmations, little reminders that I wasn’t as alone as I thought, and that I was, in fact, worthy of the journey I was on. Sometimes it was a conversation with a friend who accepted me without question, or a random moment of understanding from someone who saw beyond the surface.
One of the most significant forms of kindness I received was access to resources that helped me begin thinking about HRT. It wasn’t a straightforward process, but each piece of information, each supportive conversation, was like another hand reaching out along the way, pulling me closer to the well. Just as the protagonist’s acts of kindness are repaid in the story, these moments of support allowed me to continue my journey, even when the path forward seemed unclear. They became vital steps in my own transformation, allowing me to keep moving, just as the girl moves closer to the well with each act of kindness she offers and receives.
Reaching the Well
The protagonist’s arrival at the well is a culmination of her long and difficult journey. After overcoming so many challenges and showing kindness despite her own struggles, she finally reaches the well at the end of the world. This moment marks a profound transformation—it’s not just about completing the task she was given but about becoming something more. The water she gathers is life-giving, not just in a physical sense but in a deeper, almost spiritual way. This well, in all its symbolism, represents the moment of fulfillment, the reward for perseverance, and the source of a new beginning.
For me, reaching the decision to begin HRT felt very much like arriving at the well. It was a point I had been moving toward for years, often without even realising it. The journey had been long and filled with obstacles—self-doubt, societal expectations, fear—but each step had brought me closer to understanding my true self. Just like the protagonist, I had moments where the path ahead seemed impossible, where I doubted whether I’d ever reach a place of peace within myself. But when I finally made the decision to begin HRT, it was like arriving at my own well. It was a moment of deep, life-affirming transformation.
The well, in this sense, became a metaphor for the act of beginning HRT. It was the source of life I had been searching for—the step that allowed me to align my physical self with the person I had always been inside. When I started HRT, it wasn’t just a medical decision; it was the culmination of years of searching for the missing piece of myself. Just as the girl in the story draws water from the well and is transformed, HRT brought me a sense of becoming more fully myself. The changes weren’t immediate, but they were profound. Each day after starting HRT felt like a step closer to the person I had always known I was but hadn’t yet been able to fully express.
The significance of this moment in my life cannot be overstated. It was more than just a milestone—it was a rebirth of sorts. I had finally reached the place I had been searching for, the well at the end of my world, and it offered me the life-affirming change I had longed for. Like the protagonist, the water from the well didn’t just change my outward appearance; it transformed me from within. I became more aligned with who I truly am, more at peace with myself, and more able to live authentically. The well had been waiting for me all along, and reaching it was the reward for all the struggles I had endured along the way.
Transformation and Return
In the story, the protagonist returns home transformed by the water from the well. She is no longer the same person who set out on the journey—she has been strengthened and changed by her experience. But her return is often met with jealousy or punishment from those who sent her away. This mirrors the reality of returning to a world that may not fully understand or accept the changes that have taken place. For me, after beginning HRT and embracing my true self, I returned to a world that had its own preconceived notions of what it meant to be trans. Some people couldn’t reconcile their image of me with the person I was becoming, whilst others offered support and acceptance. The reactions were mixed, but ultimately, the transformation made me stronger and more in tune with my true self.
One of the most important lessons I learned was that I didn’t need to fit anyone else’s vision of what it meant to be trans—I am living my own vision. There is no one way to be trans, just as there is no one way to be anything. The journey to the well had given me a deeper understanding of myself, and I no longer felt the need to conform to others’ expectations. Yes, there were moments of resistance, even negativity, from some people, but there were also moments of profound connection with those who saw and celebrated the person I had become. Each reaction, whether positive or negative, helped me grow into my authentic identity.
Like the protagonist in the tale, who returns better equipped to handle the challenges ahead, I found myself more prepared for life after transition. The struggles I faced on the journey had given me the tools and resilience to navigate the world with more confidence. I was no longer weighed down by the expectations of others but was able to live more fully in alignment with my own truth. The well had provided me with the transformation I needed, and though the world might not always understand it, I knew I had found the strength to continue my journey forward.
Final thoughts …
The story of The Well at the End of the World holds a mirror to my own journey, with its themes of perseverance, transformation, and the strength found in acts of kindness. Like the protagonist, I embarked on a path toward self-discovery and transformation, facing challenges that often felt insurmountable. The well in the story, much like my decision to pursue HRT, became a symbol of life-affirming change, one that allowed me to embrace my true self after years of navigating a world that didn’t provide the tools I needed. My return to this world, much like the protagonist’s, has been met with mixed reactions, but each step of the journey has made me stronger and more aligned with who I am.
Folklore, especially within cultures like the Gaels who passed wisdom down through generations before the printed word, holds profound lessons about transformation and resilience. Stories like The Well at the End of the World are more than just tales; they offer a framework for understanding our own lives and the challenges we face. This story continues to inspire me as a trans woman, reminding me that, even when the journey is long and the tools feel inadequate, there is a well at the end of the world waiting for us. The strength and guidance I’ve drawn from this tale will continue to accompany me as I walk my path, just as it did when I first heard it as a child.