The Further Complexities of Identity

Upon coming out as trans, there are a ton of logistics to manage; not the least of which is how one wishes to be addressed. Here, I’ve done a lot of planning. As I’ve noted in previous articles, the name I have been using is not the one I was born with, rather the one assigned to me by the county’s social services agency. My dear grandmother informed that choice, and I’ve been using the diminutive of that name every since - Jim.

Moving forward, I still want to use a version of that to honour my grandmother and keep that connection. However, the whole Jim / James. thing is just too masculine for me. Plus, I’ve never liked my first name - Kenneth - ever. I’ve never used it. So it really has to go.

As such, I will begin today using the name that I have chosen for myself - chosen long ago and waiting for this moment. Henceforth, I will be Jaime (JAY me) Rowan (ROW an) Hoerricks (HUH rix).

The cool thing about Substack is that when I made this change to my user account, it made the change to the entirety of my Substack experience. Thus, no deadnames on old articles. Yay!

In California, the process around changing one’s name is rather straight forward. I simply fill out a few forms, pay a fee, and a few months later, I receive that form back with a judges’ signature. That’s it. Then, I can take that court order around to all the other places where I must change my name to reflect my identity. For now, as I attend to all of these duties, Jaime Hoerricks will be a nom de plume. But, soon enough, it will be all mine.

As for the face that is now adorning the profile for this space, it’s me as I appear in the theatre of my mind - via Photoshop (I was an artist and retoucher in a past life, and wrote a book called Forensic Photoshop back in 2008). I rather like how it came out (pun intended). The base is my last studio head shot, so the accuracy of the transformation should be a good approximation of what I might look like a few years from now when my hair has grown out and the HRT does what it does. It is incredibly aspirational.

My journey from here to there will take some time. As an autistic person, I can’t tolerate wigs and heavy makeup. I know this from being in the theatre. So, I’ll grow my hair out and occasionally feature a pop of colour here and there. The aesthetic I seek is more Scottish country mom than Hollywood diva or Milan supermodel.

Anyways … I just thought you should know.

Thanks for being here and supporting me and my work. I really do appreciate it.