Stitching Ancestry into Self: Designing a Life Inspired by the Colours of the West Highlands
From Classroom Conundrums to Catwalk Colours - A 6'7" Autistic Trans Teacher's Sartorial Saga
As a very tall, autistic trans woman, my journey of self-discovery and expression has been a winding path, filled with challenges and revelations. In a previous article, I shared my frustrations with the lack of inclusive sizing and sensory-friendly clothing options available for someone like me. Standing at 6’7’ with a penchant for the cottage core meets Scottish country mom aesthetic, I find myself struggling to find clothes that fit my body, my style, and my sensory needs. This struggle has led me to reconnect with a part of myself that I had left behind years ago: my artistic side.
Growing up, I was always drawn to the world of art and design. As a young commercial artist (pre-literacy), I revelled in the opportunity to work with colour, exploring the nuances of the Pantone Matching System and delighting in the way different hues could evoke emotions and tell stories. But somewhere along the way, as I grappled with my identity and place in the world, I lost touch with that part of myself. It wasn’t until recently that I rediscovered the power and joy of creative expression through colour and fashion.
Faced with the challenges of finding clothes that fit and feel right, I have decided to take matters into my own hands. I have dusted off my old art supplies and begun to design the wardrobe of my dreams. As I delve deeper into the world of fashion and design, I realise that I want my clothing choices to reflect not just my personal style, but also my identity and heritage.
This realisation is leading me on a journey of self-discovery, one that is taking me back to my roots in the Scottish West Highlands and Islands. As I scour pictures of this region, I begin to see how the colours of the landscape – the heather-covered hills, the peat bogs, the stormy seas – are woven into the very fabric of my being. I realise that by connecting my colour palette to my ancestral heritage, I can create a wardrobe that not only expresses my unique style but also honours my past and empowers my present.
In today’s article, I want to share my process of creating a colour palette inspired by my Scottish heritage, and how this journey is helping me to reconnect with my artistic self and find a new sense of confidence and self-expression as a trans woman. By exploring the significance of colour in fashion and identity, and the power of connecting with one’s ancestral roots, I hope to inspire others to embrace colour as a tool for self-discovery and empowerment, and to find their own unique colour stories.
The Significance of Colour in Fashion and Identity
Colour plays a crucial role in personal expression and style, allowing individuals to convey their unique personalities, moods, and identities through the hues they choose to wear. The colours we gravitate towards can reveal a great deal about our inner selves, our experiences, and our aspirations. In the world of fashion, colour is a powerful tool for making statements, evoking emotions, and creating visual impact.
However, for many trans women, the significance of colour in fashion is often overshadowed by societal expectations and stereotypes. The media and popular culture frequently depict trans women as adhering to a narrow, feminised aesthetic, often characterised by soft, pastel hues like pink and lavender. Whilst these colours can be beautiful and empowering for some, they do not represent the full spectrum of trans identities and experiences.
As a tall, autistic trans woman with fair skin, green eyes, and auburn hair, I have found that the stereotypical “trans palette” often clashes with my natural colouring. The soft, muted tones that are often associated with femininity can wash me out, making me look pale and sickly rather than vibrant and alive. It took me years to realise that I could break free from these expectations and embrace a wider range of colours that truly suit me.
The pressure to conform to a limited colour palette can be stifling for trans women, restricting our ability to express ourselves authentically and creatively. It reinforces the harmful notion that there is only one way to be a “real” woman, and that our worth and femininity are tied to our adherence to narrow beauty standards. This can be particularly damaging for those of us who are already marginalised within the trans community, such as those of us who are autistic, disabled, or people of colour.
Breaking free from these limitations and embracing a wide range of colours can be a liberating and empowering experience for trans women. By exploring the full spectrum of hues and shades, we can discover new ways of expressing ourselves and celebrating our unique identities. We can challenge the notion that there is only one way to be feminine, and assert our right to define our own beauty standards.
Moreover, by diversifying our colour choices, we can create a more inclusive and representative fashion landscape for all trans women. We can show the world that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to femininity, and that every trans woman has the right to express herself in a way that feels authentic and true to her.
In my own journey of self-discovery and expression, I have found that embracing a wider range of colours has been a crucial step in reclaiming my identity and my autonomy as a trans woman. By connecting my colour choices to my ancestral heritage and my unique personal style, I am able to create a wardrobe that feels truly my own, and that celebrates the full complexity of my identity.
Embracing My Westie Heritage
My journey of connecting with my Scottish roots has been a lifelong one, deeply influenced by my grandmother’s presence in my life. Growing up, my grandmother played a significant role in raising me, and her stories, traditions, and accent were a constant reminder of our family’s heritage. Despite being raised in Los Angeles, I’ve developed a distinct Westie accent that has stayed with me to this day, a testament to the strength of my connection to Scotland.
Throughout my life, I’ve undergone years of speech and occupational therapy aimed at helping me assimilate to the more “standard” American accent for employment purposes. As an autistic person and a gestalt language processor, much of my early attempts at speech were influenced by those around me. I absorbed the sounds, rhythms, and patterns of the language I heard, incorporating them into my own unique way of communicating.
However, despite the external influences and the efforts of my speech therapists, there was always a part of me that held fast to my Westie accent. In the theatre of my mind, the voice I heard when I thought about myself and my place in the world had a distinctly West Highland lilt. It was as if my inner self knew, on a deep and instinctual level, that this accent was a fundamental part of who I was.
As I navigated the challenges of speech therapy and the pressure to conform to a more “standard” way of speaking, I found solace and strength in my Westie accent. It was a reminder that my identity was not something that could be erased or suppressed, but rather a beautiful and complex tapestry woven from the threads of my experiences, my heritage, and my unique way of processing the world.
In many ways, my Westie accent became a kind of secret language, a way of communicating with myself and honouring my true identity even as I worked to fit in with the world around me. It was a source of comfort and grounding, a reminder that no matter how much I might struggle to express myself, there was always a part of me that knew exactly who I was and where I came from.
As I grew older, my fascination with my Scottish heritage only deepened. I found myself drawn to learning more about the history, culture, and landscapes of Scotland, particularly the West Highlands and Islands region where my family hails from. I pored over books, maps, and photographs, immersing myself in the rugged beauty and rich traditions of this enchanting part of the world.
The West Highlands and Islands of Scotland are a region of breathtaking natural beauty, characterised by dramatic landscapes, pristine beaches, and a wild, untamed spirit. From the towering peaks of the Cuillin Hills on the Isle of Skye to the white sands of Luskentyre Beach on the Isle of Harris, this region is a feast for the senses, offering endless opportunities for exploration and inspiration.
One of the most striking features of the West Highlands and Islands is its unique colour palette, which is deeply influenced by the region’s landscapes, flora, fauna, and weather. The rolling hills are carpeted in a patchwork of vibrant purples and pinks, thanks to the abundant heather that thrives in the acidic soil. The region’s peat bogs, formed over thousands of years by the accumulation of partially decayed vegetation, contribute rich, earthy browns and ochres to the landscape.
The ever-changing weather of the West Highlands and Islands also plays a significant role in shaping the region’s colour palette. The sky can shift from a clear, cerulean blue to a moody, grey-green in a matter of minutes, reflecting the mercurial nature of the Atlantic Ocean. The frequent rain and mist create a soft, diffused light that lends a dreamlike quality to the landscape, blurring the lines between land, sea, and sky.
As I immersed myself in the colours and textures of the West Highlands and Islands, I began to feel a deep sense of connection to this land and its people. I realised that the colours that surrounded me were not just aesthetically pleasing, but were imbued with a sense of history, culture, and identity that resonated with me on a profound level.
In my journey of self-discovery as an autistic trans woman (wow, it just feels so good to keep saying it), I have found that reconnecting with my Scottish heritage has been a source of great strength and inspiration. By exploring the unique characteristics and beauty of the West Highlands and Islands, I have been able to tap into a rich vein of creativity and self-expression that has helped me to navigate the challenges of living in a world that often seeks to erase or marginalize trans identities.
Through my art and my fashion choices, I seek to celebrate the colours and textures of my ancestral homeland, and to honour the resilience, creativity, and beauty of the trans community. By embracing the full spectrum of colors and experiences that make up my identity, I am able to create a life that is truly my own, grounded in the strength and wisdom of my heritage.
Creating My Heritage-Inspired Colour Palette
The process of translating the colours of the West Highlands and Islands into a personal palette has been a journey of discovery and creativity. As I immersed myself in the landscapes, textures, and hues of this enchanting region, I began to see patterns and connections emerging that resonated with my own sense of identity and style.
I started by collecting images and photographs of the West Highlands and Islands, focusing on the elements that spoke to me most deeply – the rolling hills covered in heather, the rich earthy tones of the peat bogs, the ever-changing blues and greens of the sea and sky. I studied these images closely, noting the way the colors shifted and blended depending on the light and the weather.
Next, I began to experiment with color swatches and paint chips, trying to capture the essence of each hue as I saw it in my mind's eye. It was a process of trial and error, of mixing and matching until I found the perfect shade that evoked the same emotional response as the landscapes themselves.
The resulting palette is a carefully curated selection of eight colors, each chosen for its ability to capture a specific aspect of the West Highlands and Islands' unique beauty and character. Here is a breakdown of each color, its PMS code, and its significance:
Heather Purple (PMS 7448): This soft, muted purple is inspired by the vast expanses of heather that blanket the hillsides in late summer and early autumn. It represents the gentle, feminine energy of the land and the cyclical nature of life and growth.
Peat Brown (PMS 4625): This rich, earthy brown is drawn from the deep, dark peat bogs that have formed over thousands of years in the region’s waterlogged soil. It symbolises the ancient wisdom and resilience of the land, and the enduring strength of the Scottish people.
Skye Blue (PMS 2925): This bright, clear blue is named after the Isle of Skye, whose stunning coastlines and rugged mountains are a testament to the raw beauty of the West Highlands and Islands. It represents the endless possibilities and the sense of freedom that comes from connecting with the natural world.
Sea Green (PMS 7476): This deep, mysterious green is inspired by the ever-changing hues of the Atlantic Ocean, which surrounds the West Highlands and Islands on all sides. It evokes the sense of awe and wonder that comes from contemplating the vastness and power of the sea.
Moss Green (PMS 5747): This soft, muted green is drawn from the lush, velvety moss that grows in the region’s damp, shaded forests and glens. It represents the quiet, contemplative energy of the land and the importance of taking time to connect with oneself and one’s surroundings.
Storm Grey (PMS 7544): This cool, moody grey is inspired by the dramatic, fast-moving storms that frequently sweep across the West Highlands and Islands, bringing with them a sense of urgency and intensity. It represents the unpredictable, transformative power of nature and the need for adaptability and resilience in the face of change.
Snow White (PMS Cool Gray 1C): This crisp, clean white is named after the snow-capped peaks of the region’s highest mountains, which remain covered in a blanket of white for much of the year. It symbolises purity, clarity, and the pursuit of one’s highest aspirations.
Swiss Buttercream (PMS 7506): This warm, creamy yellow is inspired by the soft, diffused light that filters through the region’s frequent mists and fogs, creating an otherworldly, dreamlike atmosphere. It represents the comfort, nourishment, and gentle support that comes from being part of a loving, accepting community.
Together, these colours create a palette that captures the essence and atmosphere of the West Highlands and Islands, evoking the rugged beauty, deep history, and enduring spirit of this remarkable region. By wearing these colours and incorporating them into my personal style, I feel a profound sense of connection to my heritage and to the land that has shaped my identity in so many ways.
At the same time, I recognise that this palette is deeply personal and may not resonate with everyone in the same way. That’s why I encourage others to undertake their own journey of discovery, to explore the colours and textures that speak to their own unique sense of self and place in the world.
By embracing a heritage-inspired color palette, we can tap into a powerful source of creativity, resilience, and self-expression, one that allows us to navigate the challenges and opportunities of life with greater confidence, authenticity, and joy. It is a reminder that our identities are not fixed or static, but rather a constantly evolving tapestry woven from the threads of our experiences, our relationships, and our connection to the natural world.
Incorporating My Heritage-Inspired Palette into My Wardrobe
Incorporating a heritage-inspired colour palette into my wardrobe has been a transformative experience, one that has brought me a greater sense of confidence, authenticity, and self-expression. By surrounding myself with the colours and textures of my ancestors and the lands from which they came, I feel a deep connection to my roots and a renewed sense of purpose and direction in my life.
The emotional and psychological benefits of wearing colours connected to my heritage have been profound. When I think about donning the rich, earthy tones of Peat Brown or the soft, muted purples of Heather, I feel grounded and centered, as if I am tapping into a wellspring of ancient wisdom and resilience. When I imagine wrapping myself in the cool, misty greys of Storm or the bright, clear blues of Skye, I feel a sense of freedom and possibility, as if anything is possible if I remain true to myself and my values.
As I work on designing my new work wardrobe with my daughter, I am excited to explore the many ways in which these colours can be incorporated into my personal style. We plan to create a range of versatile, mix-and-match pieces that can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion, all whilst staying true to my palette.
For our base pieces, we will focus on neutral tones like Peat Brown and Storm Grey, which can be easily paired with a variety of lighter and darker tops. A deep, earthy brown skirt or trousers will provide a grounding foundation for any outfit, whilst a sophisticated grey blazer will add a touch of professionalism and polish.
To add pops of colour and visual interest, we will incorporate accent pieces in shades like Heather Purple and Skye Blue. A cosy purple cardigan or sweater will serve as a statement piece, whilst a bright blue scarf or accessory will add a playful, eye-catching element to more neutral outfits.
We will also experiment with layering and texture to create depth and dimension in our designs. A chunky, Snow White knit sweater worn over a smooth, Swiss Buttercream shirt will provide a striking contrast, whilst a woolen Moss Green coat will add a tactile, organic element to any ensemble.
Throughout the design process, we will focus on creating a cohesive, harmonious collection that reflects the unique beauty and character of the West Highlands and Islands. By using a mix of complementary and analogous colour schemes, we will ensure that each piece works together seamlessly, whilst still allowing for plenty of creative expression and individual flair.
One of the things I am most excited about is the opportunity to incorporate custom details and embellishments into our designs. By adding buttons, trims, or embroidery in our chosen colours, we can create truly one-of-a-kind pieces that feel deeply personal and meaningful. We may even experiment with fabric patches or colour-blocking techniques to incorporate multiple shades into a single garment, creating a bold, striking effect.
As we work on this project together, I am filled with a sense of excitement and possibility. I know that by embracing my colour palette and incorporating it into my wardrobe, I am not only honouring my roots and my identity, but also creating a powerful tool for self-expression and self-discovery.
I believe that when we wear colours that resonate with our deepest selves, we tap into a wellspring of confidence, creativity, and joy. We become more fully ourselves, more authentic and genuine in our interactions with others. And we inspire those around us to do the same, to embrace their own unique colours and textures and to share them with the world.
So as I embark on this journey of designing my new heritage-inspired wardrobe, I do so with a sense of purpose and passion. I know that by surrounding myself with the colours of the West Highlands and Islands, I am not only creating beautiful, functional clothing, but also laying the foundation for a more confident, authentic, and expressive life. And I cannot wait to see where this journey takes me.
Explore You Own Ancestral Colour Connections
As I have discovered the joy and empowerment that comes from exploring my own ancestral colour connections, I am eager to encourage others to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery and cultural exploration. I truly believe that by researching our heritage and identifying the colours and textures that have shaped our ancestors’ lives, we can tap into a powerful source of creativity, resilience, and self-expression.
The value of exploring one’s heritage through the lens of colour cannot be overstated. By delving into the history, traditions, and landscapes of our ancestral homelands, we gain a deeper understanding of the forces that have shaped our identities and our place in the world. We begin to see ourselves as part of a larger tapestry, woven from the threads of countless generations who have come before us.
For those with roots in Latin America, this might mean exploring the vibrant, bold colours of traditional textiles and art, from the rich, earthy reds of Peruvian weavings to the bright, festive blues and greens of Mexican tiles. It could involve researching the natural dyes and pigments used by indigenous communities for centuries, and discovering how these colours reflect the unique flora, fauna, and minerals of the region.
Similarly, those with African heritage might find inspiration in the warm, earthy tones of the savannah, or the deep, rich hues of traditional Kente cloth from Ghana. They might explore the symbolism and meaning behind different colours and patterns, and how these have been used to convey social status, spiritual beliefs, and cultural identity throughout history.
Of course, creating a personal, heritage-inspired colour palette is not always a straightforward process. It requires time, patience, and a willingness to explore and experiment. Here are a few tips to get started:
Start by researching your family history and identifying the specific regions and cultures that have shaped your ancestors’ lives. Look for old photographs, documents, and stories that might provide clues about the colours and textures that were significant to them.
Study the natural landscapes, flora, and fauna of your ancestral homeland. Notice the colours that appear most frequently, and how they change throughout the seasons and in different lighting conditions.
Explore the traditional art, textiles, and crafts of your heritage culture. Look for recurring colours, patterns, and motifs, and consider how these might be incorporated into your own personal style.
Experiment with different colour combinations and schemes, using tools like colour wheels and swatch books to find harmonious and complementary pairings. Or, if you don’t have the spoons to do it yourself, buy me a coffee and I’ll do it for you.
Trust your instincts and your emotional responses to different colours. Choose the hues that resonate most deeply with your sense of self and your connection to your heritage.
As you explore your own ancestral colour connections, be open to the possibilities for self-discovery and personal growth that may arise. You may find that certain colours evoke powerful memories or emotions, or that they help you to connect with aspects of your identity that you had previously overlooked or ignored.
You may also discover a sense of empowerment and pride in your cultural heritage, as you learn to embrace and celebrate the unique colours and textures that have shaped your ancestors’ lives. By incorporating these colours into your own personal style and surroundings, you can create a tangible, visible connection to your roots, and share that connection with others.
Ultimately, exploring your ancestral colour connections is a deeply personal and transformative journey, one that has the potential to enrich your life in countless ways. Whether you are seeking a greater sense of self-awareness, a deeper connection to your heritage, or simply a more authentic and expressive way of moving through the world, colour can be a powerful tool for growth and discovery.
So I encourage you, dear reader, to take the first step on your own colour journey. Start by exploring your heritage, your family history, and the landscapes and traditions that have shaped your ancestors’ lives. Trust your instincts, your emotions, and your creative intuition as you explore the colours and textures that resonate most deeply with your sense of self.
And know that by embracing your own unique colours and sharing them with the world, you are not only honouring your own identity and heritage, but also contributing to a richer, more diverse and vibrant tapestry of human experience. So go forth, explore, and create – and may your colours shine brightly for all to see.
Final thoughts …
As we come to the end of this exploration of colour, identity, and heritage, I find myself reflecting on the many ways in which this journey is transforming my own life and sense of self. By delving into the colours and textures of my ancestry, I have discovered a new sense of connection, pride, and purpose – one that has permeated every aspect of my life, from my personal style to my relationships with others.
At the heart of this journey has been a deep appreciation for the power of colour to shape our identities and our experiences of the world. As we have seen, the colours we wear and surround ourselves with are not simply a matter of aesthetic preference, but a reflection of our deepest selves – our histories, our cultures, our dreams, and our desires.
By exploring the significance of colour in identity, and the ways in which our ancestral heritage can inform and inspire our personal palettes, we open ourselves up to a world of creative possibility and self-discovery. We begin to see ourselves not as isolated individuals, but as part of a larger tapestry of human experience, woven from the threads of countless generations who have come before us.
Creating a personalised, ancestry-inspired palette is a powerful way to honour this connection and to bring a sense of meaning and intention to our daily lives. By surrounding ourselves with the colours and textures that have shaped our ancestors' experiences, we can tap into a wellspring of resilience, creativity, and self-expression that is truly transformative.
Of course, this journey is not always easy, and it requires a willingness to explore, experiment, and trust our own instincts and intuitions. But as I have discovered through my own personal journey, the rewards are well worth the effort.
One of the greatest joys of this process has been the opportunity to share it with my daughter, who, like me, is autistic. As we have worked together, we are forging a deeper bond and understanding of each other and ourselves.
Through this shared experience, we have discovered a new way of communicating and connecting with each other, one that transcends words and language and taps into the essence of who we are as individuals and as a family. We have learned to celebrate our differences and our similarities, and to find beauty and meaning in the unique ways we experience the world (yay! pants).
As I reflect on this journey and all that it has taught me, I am filled with a sense of gratitude and hope. I am grateful for the opportunity to explore my heritage in such a deep and meaningful way, and for the ways in which it has enriched my life and my relationships with others. And I am hopeful that by sharing my story and encouraging others to embark on their own colour journeys, I can inspire a greater sense of connection, creativity, and self-expression in the world.
So to all those who are following me along on this journey, I want to leave you with a final word of encouragement and inspiration. Embrace colour as a tool for self-discovery and self-expression. Explore your own unique heritage and the ways in which it has shaped your identity and your place in the world. And trust in the transformative power of honouring your roots and expressing your true self through fashion and colour.
As you do so, know that you are not alone in this journey. Know that there is a rich and vibrant community of individuals out there who are also exploring their own colour stories and finding ways to connect with their heritage and their truest selves.
And know that by embracing your own unique colours and sharing them with the world, you are contributing to a greater sense of diversity, creativity, and understanding in the world. You are helping to create a world where everyone feels seen, valued, and celebrated for who they are – a world where our differences are not a source of division, but a source of strength, beauty, and resilience.