NLP vs. autistic hyper-empathy
I have a fairly long commute. I live in the rural mountains of far northwest Los Angeles county and teach near downtown LA. To occupy my overly curious autistic mind, I often listen to podcasts. I regularly download from a variety of sources across the spectrum. I’ve found that, over the years, I’ve sought out opposites in terms of politics, finance, and philosophy, etc. My only real requirement is that they be professionally produced in terms of sound - no echo, jump cuts, abrupt nat pops, and so forth. I also appreciate it if the podcasts are formatted to the Podcast 2.0 standard. As for my app, I use Podverse.
But, getting back out of the weeds, I happened to be listening to a finance-oriented interview of popular presenter, Tony Robbins. He just happened to be on a podcast I frequently listen to. I don’t know much about him, so I just listened to what he had to say and the way he was saying it. A few minutes in, I started to think … this guy talks like an autistic person info dumping about his passions.
Now, before you get the wrong idea, I don’t think Tony is autistic. A quick search shows no evidence that he is. But, the vibe of his interview was really starting to bug me.
Then it clicked. He was asked about his style of presenting, his pattern recognition practices when working with audiences and clients, and how he’s able to turn his snap assessments of people in to such powerful action plans. It finally clicked when he said what his underlying tool is - Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). Now it made sense. NLP was something that I was exposed to in my twenties, so I have a bit of familiarity with it.
NLP vs. autistic hyper-empathy
In my investigations years ago, I found there to be an intriguing parallel between some of the central techniques of NLP and the innate communication tendencies observed in many autistic individuals. Specifically, NLP’s emphasis on mirroring nonverbal cues like body language and speech patterns seems reminiscent of the hyper-empathic abilities inherent to some of us ‘on the spectrum.’ Additionally, NLP’s goal of modelling others’ thinking patterns and mindsets in order to build rapport resonates with the heightened perspective-taking capacities in many of us.
However, there are certainly several key differences stemming from the fact that NLP represents a set of deliberate communication tactics, whilst autistic traits relate to involuntary, neurally-driven aspects of social processing. For instance, NLP practitioners consciously mirror body language and voice tones with the aim of ingratiating themselves with interlocutors and exerting interpersonal influence. On the other hand, autistic hyper-empathy manifests as an uncontrollable, instinctive attunement to the emotional states of others as conveyed through subtle facial expressions, gestures, and behaviours. This reflects neurally-driven differences in mirror neuron functioning and emotional processing amongst those of us ‘on the spectrum.’
Equally, whilst NLP aims to actively model and adopt the beneficial thought patterns underpinning others’ success, some of us autistics exhibit alexithymia - a difficulty identifying and sourcing our own emotions whilst paradoxically displaying heightened ability to recognise others’ emotional states. This aligns with theories that many of us autistics develop strong perspective-taking and mentalising capabilities to compensate for interoceptive challenges and communication barriers.
Thus, NLP and autistic dispositions share some behavioural similarities regarding nonverbal attunement and externally-focused perspective-shifting. However, the intentionality and ultimate goals behind these capabilities differ substantially as NLP is a deliberate set of techniques aimed at interpersonal influence, whereas analogous autistic traits constitute involuntary, subconscious neurocognitive differences. Their outward resemblance nonetheless highlighted some intriguing food for thought for my long drive home.
Tony Robbins
The interview was over two hours, so it spanned my morning and evening commutes. During it, I learned that Tony Robbins is indeed one of the most prominent figures to actively employ NLP techniques in his famous seminars, events, and self-help materials.
Robbins discovered NLP early in his career whilst seeking ways to overcome his personal struggles and became enthralled with the potential for using it to drive rapid personal transformation. Many of the core methods Robbins uses - including anchoring triggers, finding “resourceful” emotional states, modeling top performers, and strategically using sensory-based language for influence - directly stem from classic NLP theories and interventions.
For instance, Robbins noted that he frequently listens for key sensory predicates in his participants’ speech, noticing if they tend to favour visual, auditory, or kinesthetic/feeling-based language. He then strategically utilises similar sensory-focused language to capture attention, build quick rapport, and intensify emotional engagement amongst attendees. Equally, he applies NLP-inspired techniques like asking loaded questions and embedding commands to shift participants into “empowering mindsets” and energy levels.
When checking online to see if he might be autistic, I found that his critics argue his use of NLP unjustifiably preys upon crowd psychology dynamics via intentional manipulation of malleable emotional states. However proponents view NLP-based interventions, when used ethically, as tools to drive positive transformations. Either way, Robbins’ mass events reveal NLP applied on an enormous scale, attracting record audiences likely due to his charisma and ability to catalyse intense personal breakthroughs. His example certainly supports the arguments I found around NLP’s effectiveness for influence when wielded appropriately.
A contradiction?
What got me curious enough to listed to the long interview of America’s über-capitalist was one point he was there to discuss, “accredited investors” and the changes to that programme that were recently voted upon in our Congress and are now under consideration by our Senate. I’ll let you dive into those weeds on your own, if you choose to. My interest, however, was related to my charity work with the Abbey and why certain avenues for funding are off-limits … especially since banks are no longer lending to small clients.
As I listened, Robbins seemed to apologise for his hyper-capitalism. He would mention his private airplane, then switch to his efforts to develop forests in east Africa. He would mention his many successful companies, his ownership stakes in professional sports teams (he’s a fractional owner of our LA Dodgers and the new LA FC, amongst other holdings), and his efforts to feed hungry people around the world. It was a bit disorienting.
So whilst deservedly seen in the West as a shrewd businessman, he seemingly balances his capitalist activities with genuine altruism and a belief he’s transforming lives. Nonetheless, one could easily see his hyper-energised, massively-scaled message as promoting individualistic self-advancement rather than the broader social change I’m always seeking.
An intriguing question emerges
There does appear to be a pattern of high-achieving Western entrepreneurs and thinkers recognising certain neurological differences or atypical cognitive styles, like those seen in us autistic people, and finding ways to hone and market those as vehicles for success.
For example, Robbins harnessing natural empathic attunement and modeling behaviours, or elite sports coaches deliberately inducing flow states to boost performance. In a sense they have commercialised and weaponised exceptional perceptual, systemic thinking, and hyper-focus abilities that resonate with autistic ‘traits.’
Arguably, Western capitalist cultures place especially high value on qualities like innovative reasoning, data-analytic cognition, and hyper-specialised talents. Consequently those able to leverage even the extremes of such traits - as manifested in certain ‘autistic dispositions’ - are celebrated and well-rewarded.
Additionally, the individualistic nature of many Western societies may lend itself to successful figures having greater space and incentive to capitalise on rare or atypical neurological strengths.
So in some ways, the most business-oriented social Darwinist environments inadvertently offer opportunities for those able to develop and market abilities associated with our neurological wiring. Just as NLP co-opted innate empathic phenomena, other entrepreneurially-minded figures surely recognize the potential upside of channeling patterns of cognition intrinsic to us yet highly congruent with specialised domains. It reflects the double-edged nature of Western capitalist cultures - whilst leaving marginalised groups behind, it may also disproportionately elevate those able to exploit specialised talents.
Put another way, when we do it, it’s bad, awful, and needs to stop via therapy and interventions. When Robbins does it, it fills stadiums and he becomes a billionaire. It’s almost as if there is no place for autism in the West …