Board Games: The Miraculous Cure for Autism Diagnosis Backlogs (Or Not)
In a groundbreaking study that’s sure to revolutionise autism care across the globe, researchers have made the earth-shattering discovery that autistic people... wait for it... enjoy playing board games. Yes, you heard that right. Whilst thousands languish on waiting lists for diagnoses and support, our brightest minds have been hard at work uncovering this gem of insight.
One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from healthcare providers and policymakers. Forget about addressing the years-long waiting lists for autism assessments or the chronic underfunding of support services. No, the real solution to our autism care crisis has been hiding in plain sight on the shelves of Waterstones and WHSmith all along.
The study, which surely deserves consideration for a Nobel Prize, reveals that autistic individuals find comfort in the structured nature of board games. Who would have thought that people who often thrive on routine and clear rules might enjoy activities with... routine and clear rules? It’s positively revolutionary.
But wait, there’s more! The researchers, in their infinite wisdom, have also uncovered that autistic people might use board games as a means of socialising. Hold onto your hats, folks, because this next bit is a real shocker: apparently, autistic individuals find it easier to interact with others when there’s a shared focus that doesn’t require constant eye contact or small talk. I don’t know about you, but I’m positively reeling from the profundity of this observation.
One can only imagine the scenes of jubilation in the offices of NHS commissioning groups across the country. “Cancel the orders for more diagnostic specialists!” they'll cry. “Forget about investing in adult autism services! What we really need is a bulk order of Monopoly and Scrabble!”
Indeed, why bother with those pesky, resource-intensive diagnostic assessments when we could simply invite suspected autistic individuals to a rousing game of Cluedo? If they display a preference for the structured nature of accusing Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick, we can tick the ‘autism’ box and send them on their merry way. Think of the time and money we’ll save!
Of course, some killjoys might point out that this study doesn’t actually address the critical issues facing the autism community. They might argue that understanding gaming preferences does little to tackle the years-long waiting lists for diagnosis, the lack of support for autistic adults, or the urgent need for better training for healthcare professionals. To those naysayers, I say: why solve real problems when we can fund research into board game preferences?
After all, it’s not as if autistic individuals and their families are struggling with real-world issues like unemployment, mental health crises, or social isolation. No, clearly what they’ve been missing all along is a good game of Dungeons and Dragons. I can almost hear the sighs of relief from autistic adults who’ve been waiting years for an assessment: “Thank goodness! I don't need a diagnosis or support - just pass me that 20-sided die!”
One particularly thrilling finding of the study is that autistic individuals might use board games as a means of engaging with their special interests. Who would have thought that people might enjoy activities related to their passions? Next, they’ll be telling us that train enthusiasts like model railways, or that music lovers enjoy listening to albums. The insights just keep coming!
But let’s not lose sight of the truly groundbreaking nature of this research. In a world where autistic individuals face discrimination, lack of understanding, and inadequate support, it’s comforting to know that our top researchers are tackling the real issues. Never mind advocating for better educational support, improving employment opportunities, or enhancing healthcare access - the true path to improving autistic lives clearly lies in understanding their stance on Trivial Pursuit.
One can only imagine the future studies this could inspire. Perhaps next we'll see an in-depth analysis of autistic individuals’ preferences in jigsaw puzzles. Or maybe a deep dive into the impact of Snakes and Ladders on executive functioning. The possibilities are endless, and undoubtedly far more pressing than trivial matters like reducing diagnostic waiting times or improving access to support services.
Of course, some might argue that the funding and effort poured into this study could have been better directed towards research that actually improves the lives of autistic individuals. They might suggest focusing on strategies to reduce diagnostic waiting times, develop better support services, or improve understanding of autism among healthcare professionals. But why bother with such mundane concerns when we can uncover such riveting insights into gaming preferences?
In all seriousness, whilst any research into autism is generally welcome, one has to question the priorities at play here. In a world where many autistic adults wait years for a diagnosis, struggle to access appropriate support, and face significant challenges in employment and daily life, a study on board game preferences feels somewhat disconnected from reality.
Perhaps instead of investigating how autistic people play, we should be looking at how we can dismantle the barriers that prevent us from fully participating in society. Rather than analyzing our gaming strategies, we could be developing strategies to reduce diagnostic waiting times, improve post-diagnostic support, and enhance public understanding of autism.
But no, let’s stick with board games. After all, when faced with the complex, systemic issues affecting autistic individuals and their families, who wouldn’t prefer to pass ‘Go,’ collect $200, and pretend all is right with the world? (a funny aside, collecting a stipend after passing ‘Go’ is an odd sort of universal basic income that no one seems to ever complain about …)
Thus, whilst the rest of us concern ourselves with trivial matters like improving actual care and support for autistic individuals, we can rest easy knowing that the truly important questions are being answered. So the next time you hear about an autistic adult waiting years for a diagnosis, or struggling to access appropriate support, don't worry. Just hand them a box of Cards Against Humanity. Problem solved.