The Invisible Con: Navigating Vulnerability as an Autistic Adult
As an autistic gestalt language processor (aka, non-verbal), I navigate the world differently from most. My journey through life has been marked by unique challenges, particularly in communication and social interaction. These differences, whilst integral to who I am, can sometimes leave me vulnerable in ways that neurotypical individuals might not fully grasp.
Recently, I found myself embroiled in a situation that brought these vulnerabilities into sharp focus. My biological father, battling cancer from afar, suddenly ceased all communication. What followed was a perplexing series of events involving strangers, cryptic messages, and a mounting sense of unease. This experience has led me to a sobering realisation: autistic adults like myself are particularly susceptible to certain types of cons and manipulations.
In today’s article, I'll explore why autistic individuals may be more vulnerable to ‘long cons,’ drawing from personal experience and broader insights into the autistic mind. My hope is to shed light on this often-overlooked issue and offer strategies for protection and empowerment.
The Scenario Unfolds
For several years, my biological father has been battling cancer. What began as prostate cancer eventually spread to his lungs and then his brain. Despite the physical distance between us—he in Louisiana and I in California—we maintained regular contact through text messages and the occasional phone call. This mode of communication suited me well as a non-verbal autistic person, allowing me to process and respond at my own pace. The asynchronous nature of texting also helped bridge the time difference between us.
Our established pattern of communication made it all the more jarring when, without warning, my father’s messages stopped. Days stretched into weeks with no word from him, an unsettling silence that grew increasingly difficult to ignore. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a flurry of activity erupted on social media. Various acquaintances of my father began reaching out to me on Facebook, sharing fragmentary information about his condition. They mentioned hospice care but provided no specifics, urging me to seek out more details on my own—a task that, as a gestalt language processor (GLP), I found overwhelmingly complex.
The situation took another bewildering turn when a cousin of his contacted me, introducing an unknown woman allegedly caring for my father. This caretaker, I was told, could facilitate communication with my father if I reached out to her. The fact that my father wasn’t contacting me directly raised immediate red flags.
Days later, this same caretaker posted on my father’s Facebook page, seeking a notary to help settle his affairs. As I pieced together these disparate bits of information, a growing sense of unease settled over me. The controlled flow of information, the breadcrumb trail of communication, the appeal to emotion—all of it began to resemble the hallmarks of a potential scam. I couldn’t help but recall stories of fraudsters keeping deceased individuals ‘alive’ on paper to continue receiving their benefits. As suspicion mounted, so did my confusion, leaving me grappling with a situation that seemed to exploit the very vulnerabilities I face as an autistic individual.
Autistic Vulnerabilities in Con Situations
Autistic people often navigate the world with a heightened sense of trust and sincerity. We tend to approach interactions with an open heart, expecting others to reciprocate with equal honesty. This inherent trust, whilst admirable, can leave us particularly vulnerable to those who would exploit our good faith.
Our difficulty in reading social cues compounds this vulnerability. The subtle nuances of body language, facial expressions, and tonal shifts that might alert others to deception often elude us. In the digital realm, where much of modern communication occurs, these challenges are further amplified, making it even harder to discern genuine interactions from manipulative ones.
Many autistic folks, myself included, harbour a deep-seated desire for meaningful connections. Years of social isolation or misunderstanding can intensify this longing, sometimes overriding our cautionary instincts. This yearning for connection can make us more susceptible to overtures from those with ulterior motives, as we eagerly grasp at the promise of friendship or understanding.
Our tendency towards literal interpretation of language presents another avenue for potential exploitation. Con artists, skilled in crafting ambiguous or misleading statements, can take advantage of our inclination to take things at face value. What might seem like innocent conversation to us could be laden with hidden implications or deceit.
The autistic need for routine and predictability can also be weaponised against us. A con artist who provides a sense of stability or familiar patterns can more easily gain our trust over time, making their deception harder to detect. Our social naivety, often stemming from limited experience in complex social situations, further hampers our ability to recognise manipulative behaviours.
Lastly, many autistic individuals require additional support in navigating daily life. This need for assistance can be exploited by those offering help with hidden agendas, creating a dangerous dependency that's difficult to break free from.
Red Flags in the Situation
In reflecting on my situation, several red flags emerged that are characteristic of potential cons. The most glaring was the sudden control over information and communication. My direct line to my father was severed, replaced by a network of intermediaries drip-feeding me information. This centralisation of communication is a classic tactic used to manipulate narratives and isolate targets.
The manner in which information was dispensed followed a pattern known as ‘breadcrumbing.’ Small morsels of information were doled out sporadically, each morsel just enticing enough to keep me engaged but never satisfying my need for clarity. This technique is often employed to maintain a person’s interest whilst avoiding substantive disclosure.
Emotional manipulation was another prominent red flag. The situation naturally evoked strong emotions—concern for my father’s well-being, frustration at the lack of clear information, and a desperate desire to re-establish contact. These emotions could potentially be exploited to cloud judgment and prompt hasty decisions.
Perhaps the most alarming development was the sudden introduction of urgent legal matters. The caretaker’s public request for a notary to settle my father’s affairs added a layer of urgency and legitimacy to the situation. However, it also raised questions about why such matters were being handled so publicly and hastily. In many cons, creating a false sense of urgency is a tactic used to pressure targets into making quick, poorly considered decisions.
The Autistic Experience of Potential Cons
As an autistic GLP, navigating the complex social landscape of a potential con presents unique challenges. The intricacy of such situations often overwhelms our ability to process information effectively. We may struggle to discern genuine concern from manipulative tactics, or to understand the hidden agendas that neurotypical individuals might more readily perceive.
Formulating appropriate responses in these scenarios can be particularly daunting. As a GLP, I often find myself searching for the right ‘script’ to handle unfamiliar situations. When faced with a potential con, the absence of a clear, pre-existing pattern to follow can leave us feeling lost and vulnerable.
The emotional toll of uncertainty and suspicion cannot be overstated. Research by Griffiths et al. (2019) and Fisher et al. (2013) has shown that autistic adults report higher rates of negative life experiences, including financial exploitation, which are associated with increased anxiety and depression. This heightened emotional state can further cloud our judgment and decision-making abilities.
Perhaps the most challenging aspect is the internal struggle between our desire for connection and the need for self-protection. Fisher et al. (2013) found that autistic individuals often display less risk awareness and have less social protection, making us more susceptible to victimisation. This vulnerability, coupled with our genuine desire for meaningful relationships, can create a perfect storm for potential exploitation.
The cognitive differences inherent in autism, as highlighted by Stark et al. (2021), may lead to increased vulnerability to psychopathology, such as anxiety. This can exacerbate the impact of negative experiences, including being conned, creating a cycle of vulnerability that can be difficult to break.
Protective Strategies for Autistic Adults
In light of the vulnerabilities we face, developing robust protective strategies is crucial for autistic adults. Building a trusted support network is paramount. This network should comprise individuals who understand our unique communication style and needs. As Camm-Crosbie et al. (2018) emphasise, tailored, individualised support can significantly mitigate some of the vulnerabilities experienced by autistic individuals.
Education about common scams is another vital defence. By familiarising ourselves with typical con tactics, we can better recognise red flags when they appear. This knowledge empowers us to approach unfamiliar situations with a more critical eye.
Establishing clear boundaries is essential, as demonstrated in my own experience. By blocking suspicious accounts on Facebook, I created a barrier against potential manipulation. This action reinforces the principle that genuine connections should have alternative means of contact, such as my phone number, which my father and trusted relatives possess.
Taking time with decisions is crucial, especially given our tendency towards literal interpretation and social naivety. Evers et al. (2022) highlight the importance of developing adaptive coping strategies, particularly during stressful periods. Allowing ourselves ample time to process information and consult with our support network can prevent hasty, potentially harmful decisions.
Independently verifying information is another key strategy. In the digital age, cross-referencing details and seeking corroboration from multiple sources can help us distinguish fact from fiction.
Trusting our instincts, whilst challenging, is vital. My decision to block suspicious accounts on Facebook stemmed from an innate sense of unease. This action aligns with the findings of Fisher et al. (2013), suggesting that developing better risk awareness can enhance our social protection.
Lastly, seeking professional advice when needed is crucial. Whether it’s legal counsel, financial advisors, or mental health professionals, experts can provide invaluable guidance in navigating complex situations. As highlighted by Stark et al. (2021), addressing underlying mental health concerns can also bolster our resilience against potential cons.
Final thoughts …
The situation with my father remains shrouded in uncertainty. As an active member of the Louisiana Patriot Guard Riders, one would expect his fellow veterans to rally around him in his time of need. The absence of any announcements or calls for prayer on their Facebook page is conspicuously odd. There’s been no mention of a funeral or the customary request for riders to present the flag - traditions that are deeply ingrained in their community.
This glaring silence amplifies the importance of awareness and self-protection for autistic individuals. Our unique cognitive profiles can make us vulnerable to manipulation, especially in emotionally charged situations. However, this experience also highlights the value of critical thinking and pattern recognition - skills many autistic individuals excel at when given the opportunity to process information thoroughly.
There's an urgent need for greater societal understanding and support for autistic adults navigating complex social situations. This includes recognising our strengths, such as attention to detail and logical thinking, which can be powerful tools in identifying inconsistencies and potential deceptions.
Moving forward, we must advocate for more comprehensive education about autism across all sectors of society. By fostering a more inclusive environment that respects neurodiversity, we can create a world where autistic individuals are less vulnerable to exploitation and better equipped to trust their instincts when something doesn't add up.
This situation serves as a stark reminder that in our interconnected world, the unusual absence of expected information can be just as telling as its presence. For autistic individuals and society at large, cultivating a balance of open-heartedness and healthy skepticism is crucial in navigating the complexities of human interaction.