Balancing Fairness and Inclusion: An Autistic Trans Woman’s Perspective on Sports
As an autistic trans woman in my 50s, I find myself at a unique intersection of identity and experience. My journey has been one of profound self-discovery, navigating the complexities of gender identity whilst also having a rich history in athletics. From the football field to the wrestling mat, and even the Scottish Highland Games, sports have been an integral part of my life. Now, as I transition and step away from my role as a competitive athlete and coach, and given recent events in the US, I feel compelled to contribute to the ongoing conversation about trans inclusion in sports.
The debate surrounding trans athletes has reached a fever pitch in recent years, with arguments about fairness and inclusion dominating the discourse. Critics argue that trans women have an inherent advantage due to the physical attributes developed during male puberty, whilst supporters advocate for the right of trans individuals to participate in sports consistent with their gender identity. As someone who has experienced the transformative power of athletics and (recently) the challenges of transitioning, I believe my perspective can provide valuable insights into this complex issue.
In today’s article, I will share my personal athletic journey, the profound changes I’ve already experienced during my transition, and how these experiences have shaped my understanding of the controversy surrounding trans people in sports. By examining the physical changes brought about by hormone replacement therapy (HRT), the nuances of fairness and inclusion, the need for informed policies, and the importance of education and awareness, I hope to contribute to a more inclusive and understanding approach to trans participation in athletics.
The significance of this topic cannot be overstated. Sports have the power to unite, inspire, and provide a sense of belonging. For trans individuals, the right to participate in sports is not just about competition; it’s about recognition, respect, and the ability to live authentically. By sharing my story and insights, I aim to foster a dialogue that leads to a more inclusive sports culture, one that celebrates the diversity of all athletes and welcomes the valuable perspectives that trans athletes bring to the table.
The Athletic Journey
Wrestling was my first love, born out of the challenges I faced during a rough childhood. As an autistic gestalt processor, aka non-verbal, I struggled to find my place in a world that had yet to understand and embrace neurodiversity. Growing up in the 1970s, the terms “autism” and “gestalt processing” were not part of the common vernacular, leaving me vulnerable to relentless bullying. The taunts and torments of my peers fueled a deep-seated anger and rage within me, leading to several fights and suspensions in the middle elementary grades.
It was during this tumultuous time that my principal recognised my need for a productive outlet and recommended to my parents that I channel my emotions into something more constructive. This advice led me to discover the transformative power of wrestling. On the mat, I found a sanctuary where I could express myself physically, where my struggles could be translated into a language of grappling techniques and strategic moves. I threw myself into the sport (yee haw! autistic deep dive time), exploring various styles from around the world, with a particular affinity for Russia’s Sambo and China’s Shuai Jiao. Wrestling became my anchor, teaching me discipline, self-control, and the art of channeling my energy into something positive.
Football came into my life as a means of economic necessity. As I approached the end of my high school years, I realised that a football scholarship could provide a pathway to support myself and further my education. I dedicated myself to the sport, despite the intermittent challenges posed by injuries. The gridiron taught me valuable lessons in teamwork, perseverance, and the importance of adapting to unexpected setbacks.
It wasn’t until my late 20s that I discovered the Scottish Highland Games. This unique and demanding sport provided a new avenue for me to showcase my strength and skill. Over the years, I accumulated 77 podium finishes and secured 4 championships (2x caber, one each stones and weights). The Highland Games not only tested my physical prowess but also fostered a deep sense of camaraderie among competitors. It was a reminder that success is often a collaborative effort and that the bonds forged through shared experiences can be incredibly powerful.
Throughout my athletic journey, I faced numerous challenges, both on and off the field. Yet, each obstacle I encountered served as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Wrestling taught me to channel my anger into discipline and focus. Football instilled in me the value of teamwork and the resilience to overcome injuries. The Scottish Highland Games showcased the power of dedication and the joy of competing alongside fellow athletes.
As I reflect on my path, I am filled with gratitude for the role that sports have played in shaping my character and helping me navigate the complexities of life as an autistic individual. The lessons I learned on the wrestling mat, the football field, and the Highland Games arena have been invaluable in my personal growth and in my ongoing journey as a trans woman. They have taught me the strength that comes from embracing one’s authentic self and the importance of perseverance in the face of adversity.
My Transition
Coming out as a trans woman has been a pivotal moment in my life, marked by a complex interplay of liberation and trepidation. On one hand, embracing my authentic identity and finally giving voice to my innermost truth has been incredibly freeing. It was as if a weight I had carried for decades was suddenly lifted, allowing me to breathe deeply and fully for the first time. However, this newfound liberation was accompanied by a daunting realisation of the challenges that lay ahead. Navigating a world that often views gender through a binary lens can be a formidable task, particularly for those who have spent a lifetime conforming to societal expectations.
As I embarked on my medical transition late last year, I began to experience a profound shift in my physical and emotional landscape. The changes, though subtle at first, have been gradually reshaping my body and my sense of self. To the discerning eye, the early signs of this transformation are becoming apparent, hinting at the journey that lies ahead (thus the urgent need for an entirely new wardrobe). Whilst the physical changes are just beginning, the emotional impact has been profound. I find myself reevaluating my relationship with my body, my capabilities, and my place in the world of sports.
One of the most significant aspects of my transition has been the decision to retire from competitive sports. This choice was driven by a deep sense of dysphoria, a discomfort with the disconnect between my physical form and my true gender identity. As an athlete who has always taken pride in my strength and power, it was a difficult realisation that the very attributes that had brought me success in the past were now a source of unease.
My transition goals are focused on developing a more lithe, flexible, and flowing figure, one that aligns with my authentic self. This process involves not only physical changes but also a shift in mindset, learning to embrace and celebrate my evolving body. Overcoming the genetic advantages that once propelled me to athletic success is a crucial part of this journey. Through the use of anti-androgens and other medical interventions, I am working to reshape my physique and find a new sense of harmony between my body and my identity.
It’s important to note that my medical transition is still in its early stages. The changes, whilst significant to me, may not yet be readily apparent to others. This is a common experience for many trans individuals, as the effects of hormone therapy and other treatments take time to fully manifest. It can be a period of great anticipation and uncertainty, as we navigate the complexities of our changing bodies and the reactions of those around us.
Despite the challenges, I am filled with hope and determination as I continue on this path. Each day brings new insights and opportunities for growth, both physically and emotionally. Whilst my relationship with sports may be changing, my love for movement and the joy of inhabiting my body remains constant. As I develop a more authentic and aligned sense of self, I am discovering new ways to express my physicality and embrace the beauty of my unique journey (Tai Qi and Wall Pilates).
The Controversy in Sports
The controversy surrounding the inclusion of trans athletes in sports has been a topic of heated debate in recent years. At the heart of this discussion lies the complex question of how to balance the principles of fairness and inclusion. Critics argue that trans women, in particular, have an inherent advantage due to the physical attributes developed during male puberty. They contend that these advantages, such as increased muscle mass and bone density, create an uneven playing field and undermine the integrity of women’s sports.
On the other hand, supporters of trans inclusion in sports emphasise the fundamental right of every individual to participate in activities that align with their gender identity. They argue that denying trans athletes the opportunity to compete as their true selves is a form of discrimination and goes against the very spirit of sports, which should be about unity, equality, and the celebration of human potential. Advocates also point out that blanket bans or restrictions on trans participation fail to account for the diversity of individual experiences and the varying effects of medical transitions on athletic performance.
Recent years have seen several high-profile cases that have brought this controversy to the forefront of public discourse. One notable example is the case of Lia Thomas, a trans woman who competed on the University of Pennsylvania women’s swimming team. Thomas’s participation sparked intense debate, with some arguing that her victories were the result of unfair advantages, while others defended her right to compete and celebrated her achievements as a trailblazer for trans athletes.
Another example that garnered significant attention was the decision by World Rugby to ban trans women from participating in elite women’s rugby competitions. The organisation cited concerns about player safety and the perceived advantages of trans women, particularly in terms of physicality and strength. This decision was met with both support and criticism, highlighting the complex and often polarising nature of this debate.
As someone who has trained trans athletes in shot put, specifically AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) trans boys, and welcomed them onto my teams, I have witnessed firsthand the positive impact that inclusion can have on the lives of these kids. The joy and sense of belonging that comes from being able to compete as one’s authentic self cannot be overstated. It is a powerful reminder that sports have the potential to be a unifying force, bringing people together regardless of their differences.
However, I also recognise the legitimate concerns surrounding fairness and the need to ensure a level playing field for all competitors. Finding a balance between inclusion and fairness is a complex challenge that requires engaged discussions and open mindedness. It is crucial that we engage in open and honest dialogue, drawing upon the expertise of all stakeholders to develop guidelines that prioritise both the well-being of trans athletes and the integrity of the sports they participate in.
Ultimately, the controversy surrounding trans inclusion in sports is a reflection of the broader societal challenges we face in creating a more inclusive and equitable world. As we navigate these complex issues, it is important to remember the transformative power of sports and the potential they hold to break down barriers, challenge stereotypes, and promote understanding. By approaching this debate with empathy, respect, and a commitment to finding common ground (many sports, like BJJ and the Highland Games, have ‘open class’ competitions), we can work towards a future where every athlete, regardless of their gender identity, has the opportunity to compete and thrive.
My Perspective
As someone who is experiencing the profound impact of HRT firsthand, I can attest to the significant changes it brings about in the body, mind, and spirit. HRT, particularly the use of anti-androgens and estrogen, can have a dramatic effect on muscle mass, strength, and overall athletic performance. In my personal journey, I am noticing a gradual diminishing of the competitive edge I once possessed. The physical attributes that previously granted me advantages in sports are being reshaped. Nowhere was this more evident than this year’s track season. In demonstrating aspects of the rotational shot put release, I was astonished to see how much distance I had already lost this soon into my transition.
It is crucial to recognise that sports encompass far more than just physical capability. They are about dedication, strategy, teamwork, and the pursuit of personal excellence. Whilst physical attributes undoubtedly play a role, they are not the sole determinants of success. The importance of opportunity and the feeling of being valued cannot be understated. Every athlete, regardless of their gender identity, deserves the chance to compete and experience the joys and challenges of sports.
However, I also acknowledge the complexities involved in balancing fairness and inclusion. It is a delicate equilibrium that requires careful consideration and ongoing dialogue. The sporting world has grappled with similar challenges in the past, such as the cases of women track athletes being accused of doping due to naturally higher testosterone levels. These instances highlight the need for nuanced understanding and a case-by-case approach to ensuring fairness.
One potential solution is the implementation of policies and guidelines that take into account the unique circumstances of trans athletes. For example, requiring a reasonable period of hormone therapy before allowing competition can help mitigate concerns about unfair advantages. This approach recognizes that the effects of HRT are not instantaneous and that a certain duration of treatment is necessary to level the playing field.
Moreover, the inclusion of intersex individuals in sports adds another layer of complexity to the conversation. Intersex athletes, who are born with variations in sex characteristics, have faced discrimination and exclusion based on their biological differences. The question of how to create inclusive policies that accommodate the diversity of human biology is an ongoing challenge that requires sensitivity, understanding, and a commitment to fairness.
Education and awareness play a vital role in addressing the misunderstandings surrounding trans and intersex athletes in sports. By fostering open dialogue and including the voices of trans athletes, medical professionals, and sports authorities, we can work towards dispelling misconceptions and creating a more informed discourse. It is through these conversations that we can develop policies and guidelines that prioritize both inclusion and fairness.
As such, finding the right balance is an ongoing process that requires collaboration, empathy, and a willingness to adapt as our understanding evolves. As a now retired trans athlete, I believe that my perspective can contribute to this important dialogue. By sharing my experiences and insights, I hope to promote a more inclusive and equitable sporting world, one that celebrates the diversity of human experience and the power of sports to bring people together.
Final Thoughts …
To wrap this up, the journey of trans athletes in sports is one of resilience, self-discovery, and the pursuit of authentic representation. As we navigate the complexities of balancing fairness and inclusion, it is crucial to remember the fundamental values that sports should embody. The debate surrounding trans participation in sports has highlighted the need for nuanced understanding, evidence-based policies, and ongoing dialogue that includes the voices of trans athletes, medical professionals, and sports authorities.
However, it is important to acknowledge that many of the arguments surrounding this issue stem from a larger systemic problem: the commodification of sports in the neo-liberal and neo-colonial Western world. The intense focus on revenue and opportunities tied to winning has overshadowed the true essence of sports as a means of personal growth, character development, and the simple joy of competition.
We must ask ourselves: have we strayed too far from the original spirit of sports exemplified by events like the first Highland Games hosted by King Malcolm? These ancient competitions aimed to celebrate the skills and prowess of warriors and messengers from various kinships, fostering a sense of community and shared purpose. In contrast, today’s sports often resemble a “hunger games” type scenario, where athletes compete not just for glory but for the chance to access education and opportunities that should be fundamental rights.
It is time to reevaluate our priorities and remember that sports should be accessible and enjoyable for all, regardless of their background or identity. The inclusion of trans athletes in sports is not just about fairness; it is about recognising the valuable perspectives and experiences they bring to the athletic community. By creating a more inclusive and understanding environment, we can tap into the transformative power of sports to break down barriers, challenge stereotypes, and promote unity.
Moreover, we must address the larger societal issues that contribute to the inequities in sports and beyond. Education, in particular, should be a public good, freely available to everyone. By ensuring that access to knowledge and opportunities is not dependent on athletic success, we can create a more equitable and just society.
As we move forward, let us prioritise the values of inclusion, understanding, and the pure joy of competition in sports. Let us work together to create policies and guidelines that celebrate the diversity of human experience and promote the well-being of all athletes. The perspectives of trans athletes are invaluable in shaping this dialogue and building a more inclusive future.
It is time to redefine what sports mean to us as a society. Let us strive for a world where every individual, regardless of their gender identity, can experience the transformative power of sports and the joy of pursuing their passions. By embracing this vision, we can create a sporting landscape that truly reflects the best of our shared humanity.